Part of the team

I’d been working pretty hard, especially that past week. But I wasn’t sure it showed. There are a lot of pieces that go into design, especially creating something new. And I was concerned that he’d be disappointed I wasn’t further along in the process.

He seemed pretty happy with how things were looking, and then we discussed a few other projects that I’ll be working on.

We wrapped up in a rush, him late for a meeting and on a phone call.

“How do you feel?” he asked me, making sure I felt a grasp on what was at hand, and that he’d given me everything I needed for the moment.

“Good,” I said, and smiled. I did feel good. I have a lot to do, but I am enjoying it. And I feel like we’re all on the same team — something I cherish.

He’s a kind and generous man — a little rough around the edges, but with a soft underbelly. I’ve known of him for four years, and long had a tender place in my heart for him because of how he takes care of my friends, who are renters of his property. Take care of my friends, and you’ll have my loyalty immediately.

And now I’m in. I get to work with this paternal figure. And he’s a good man. The kind you feel lucky to know. The kind you want on your team. And he’s on mine.

So, tonight, he called. He called just to tell me that he appreciates the work I’ve been doing. He feels like I’m on the right track, and he’s encouraged.

A similar instance happened last week with a different employer. I had created a three-piece info packet. The main sheet was a flyer about who we are and why we do what we do and what we offer. I did design and created the content.

First of all, when I showed Lindsey one of the concepts I’d come up with, she gasped. She loved it. That shot some endorphins into my system.

And the other day, she was taking some of the flyers out to deliver them, and spent some time reading them. She later told me that she’d almost called me right then to tell me how well-written the information was, how it said what she wanted it to say with words she didn’t think she could have come up with.

These two instances of direct positive feedback from bosses I respect on work I am proud of … they meant more to me than I can say.

I didn’t realize how low my work confidence was. I thought, “Well, I think it’s pretty good. But we’ll see.”

I’m not trying to say that these things I’m designing are that impressive. (I am not a designer.) And I’m sure the writing could be improved, too.

But I’ve bought into these two small-business owners. I care about them. I want to do the best work I can. I want my work to help their businesses. That heart probably shows through. I hope so, anyway.

And being recognized for putting my heart into my work … holy shit, I’m not being treated like the enemy. I’m being told “you get it — I’m so glad” rather than the opposite. And this is after months, not years, of being part of the team.

I’m not being treated as subversive. My ideas are welcomed. My opinion matters. My talent matters. The shit I’ve learned in school and work experience matters.

I feel valued. I feel trusted. I’m part of the fucking team.

And they are PAYING ME to do this work!